Popcorn always makes me happy
Girlfriends can make me feel snappy
And sometimes it’s true
She makes me feel blue
And so I became slaphappy
~
There was a young man with a boot
Who really could not give a hoot
His feet were still dry
Megan makes me cry
He sat and enjoyed his loot
~
A black rhino named Arthur
Who refrained from meeting his father
Skipped to the zoo
To see what he could do
And proceeded to meet his illegitimate daughter
~
I go to the moon after dark
I kill them all like larks
They all bleed green it makes me keen
I enjoy the sounds of the park?
~
There once was a boat out to sea
Full of lads and lasses drunk on tea
They laughed and they sang
And shotguns “Bang! Bang! Bang!”
The party roared above the sea
~
I once met a man who was yellow
He was quite the odd fellow
He drank only tangelo
While playing the cello
So at least his music was mellow
~
The unicorn went to the park
And sniffed at all the bark
It smelled pretty bad
And it made him quite sad
So instead he sniffed glue in the dark
~
I thought that it had been bought
Now I’m stuck with what I got
I threw up my hands
And set to the sands
And found all I had sought
~
My Grandma once said “Listen Boy,
So I sat up and put down my toy,
Eat up some sweets lad
And don’t dare be bad
Or Santa won’t bring you no joy”
~
There once was a young man named Huy,
Who turned into a tall, stripy tree
He kicked and he cried
He wept and he tried
So a lumberjack let him go free
~
There was a poor lady in London
On her foot there was once quite a bunion
She wasn’t a witch
But her foot had an itch
So she had several onions
~
A cat sat upon a tall wall
And made a long delectable call
No one answered him
He felt quite grim
A rat sat in a small hall
~
A protestant man from New York
Flew fast away on a stork
In Dallas its said
He wore on his head
So many poked him with a fork
~
Up on an apple tree limb
A robin and squirrel so prim
Began first to squirm
Harassed by a work
The poem was written on a whim
~
If people were thinking of cheese
They would happily fall on their knees
To grab their keys
As if they were bees
And to all, “cheese please”
